It's what I answer to!
I've been called so many names in my lifetime. P.K., Perri, Perri Kathryn. Daughter. Granddaughter. Sister. Friend. Those are names that I loved being known as. Answering to. But, what I loved, more than anything, was when my first born said, "Mommie" (pronounced /mom'ee/) for the first time. Moreover, I loved that his sister and brother also called me "Mommie," although now they mostly call me Mom.
Who am I now? That's hard because what I want to do, what I have a passion for, has been diluted by things like what I'm good at and what people ask me to do. I am a good friend. Or rather, when I'm a good friend, people say things like, "You're so wonderful." Or, my favorite, "What would I have done without you?" Which is followed by the "great, awesome, wonderful" adjectives. Do I need the honoring or accolades? Well, I'm human, but these adjectives, or names don't necessarily really define me. Once whatever I've been doing is over with, done, I'm left with a plethora of names I can be called--mind you, not bad names--but names just the same. And then there are times when I'm not so accommodating, when I can't pull the rabbit out of the hat, or I can't do or be what someone wants me to be.
Which leads to a new set of names. Like selfish. Actually my favorite. But there's a list as long as my arm (quite a long list when you're more than six feet tall) that come from people who once said wonderful things about me, including "You were the best mom" or friend, or whatever, and because things didn't go as they planned, decide to REDEFINE me. Things have to change.
What name do you call me? How do you define me? Or does it matter? What name do I want to be called? How do I want to be defined. Who am I? Lots of questions, but no simple answers. I want to be mom, friend, sister ... all of this, but what I want to be most of all is me. And so, here's the simple truth. You may call me anything you want to, but you'll know who I am by what I answer to. I won't answer to anything other than who I am. Now, won't that be interesting?
Do you recognize yourself anymore?
Depends on what you're answering to.
I've been called so many names in my lifetime. P.K., Perri, Perri Kathryn. Daughter. Granddaughter. Sister. Friend. Those are names that I loved being known as. Answering to. But, what I loved, more than anything, was when my first born said, "Mommie" (pronounced /mom'ee/) for the first time. Moreover, I loved that his sister and brother also called me "Mommie," although now they mostly call me Mom.
Who am I now? That's hard because what I want to do, what I have a passion for, has been diluted by things like what I'm good at and what people ask me to do. I am a good friend. Or rather, when I'm a good friend, people say things like, "You're so wonderful." Or, my favorite, "What would I have done without you?" Which is followed by the "great, awesome, wonderful" adjectives. Do I need the honoring or accolades? Well, I'm human, but these adjectives, or names don't necessarily really define me. Once whatever I've been doing is over with, done, I'm left with a plethora of names I can be called--mind you, not bad names--but names just the same. And then there are times when I'm not so accommodating, when I can't pull the rabbit out of the hat, or I can't do or be what someone wants me to be.
Which leads to a new set of names. Like selfish. Actually my favorite. But there's a list as long as my arm (quite a long list when you're more than six feet tall) that come from people who once said wonderful things about me, including "You were the best mom" or friend, or whatever, and because things didn't go as they planned, decide to REDEFINE me. Things have to change.
What name do you call me? How do you define me? Or does it matter? What name do I want to be called? How do I want to be defined. Who am I? Lots of questions, but no simple answers. I want to be mom, friend, sister ... all of this, but what I want to be most of all is me. And so, here's the simple truth. You may call me anything you want to, but you'll know who I am by what I answer to. I won't answer to anything other than who I am. Now, won't that be interesting?
2 comments:
Oh wise one, you raise an age old question "who am I?" We try to find identity throughout our life. We must readjust always as we redefine ourselves, this is a moving target. Wouldn't it be interesting to take stock in what we answer to? What image would that be?
Sometimes it is not so much the answers to the questions, but what questions do we ask of ourselves. That is where I am now.
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